Ten years ago, I was in Boston at an art gallery with a friend of mine. I remember that night so well for some reason. I recall we had an in-depth ( and very intellectual, I’m sure) conversation about art history. There we were, two undergraduates from a school whose motto is “nerd pride,” analyzing art and asserting our views on topics much beyond our scope of knowledge. We were standing in front of a large canvas with a screen-printing of a young man in a suit who was being weighed down by time. How, you ask? Ok, well, that part is hard to describe, but suffice it to say the artist’s message was clear.
I thought it was humbug, and my stance was that contemporary art was just recycled trash. I know, I know, such brash naïveté…but that’s the point of this tale. Back then my life seemed so figured out. Finish college, go to medical school at the end of which I would get married, buy a house and then have my children somewhere between residency and saving the world one patient at a time. I couldn’t relate to the imperfect. I couldn’t imagine how your life could be so bad that you would feel weight down by the passing of time. Things only get better, after all, right?
Well, I can imagine it now. This last decade has been a little different from what I was planning that night at the gallery. Ok, a lot different. That’s been weighing on my mind as we count down the end of 2010.
For the last ten years, I almost always have celebrated New Year’s Eve in some way, most often at a big party. Most often with my closest friends. I’ve been lucky that way. And we always make resolutions about how we’re going to make ourselves and our lives better. Something to look forward to. Looking forward, and not looking back – that’s what New Year’s is all about.
But this year is different, I think. This year marks my tenth year out of college, which I guess means my tenth year as an adult. It’s an interesting transition point, I think. I’m struggling to decide how much I can cling to the last decade, and how much I need to shed and let natural transitions happen. I think that is what this New Year’s will be about. Not just making resolutions, but taking stock of what exactly is going on. Maybe come up with a game plan. I feel like I muddled my way through my 20s mainly driven by emotions. This decade, maybe some more focus. After all, it took me about this long to really feel that I have a sense of myself.
Did you all figure that out sooner? I’m jealous…
Ok, time to get to it.
Half way...where? 